Dear Diary,
I’ve lately been suffering the effects of a nasty virus called “the I CAN’TS.” Symptoms include self-doubt, anxiety, writer’s block, and shame. Write another chapter? I CAN’T! Edit the mess I’ve created? I CAN’T! Poetry? Short story? Write a stupid email to my dear sweet mother to tell her I posted a new blog? I CAN’T! I CAN’T! I—
Well okay, that last one I can do.
The experts say that the remedy involves ignoring that negative inner voice and simply doing what you think you can’t do. This method is called “Write it anyway,” but so far, every attempt I’ve made just aggravates my symptoms—like lime on a papercut.
Gosh golly it’s annoying.
And so, like Bruce Banner, I’ve decided to self-administer an experimental antidote. Sure, Brucey’s experiment didn’t work out quite the way he’d intended, but it had its perks. And mine is less risky—it’s holistic. Or rather “whole-istic”, because it’ll make me whole again.
Need I mention that bad jokes are also common among sufferers? Usually my jokes are magnanimous.
Aren’t they?
Don’t answer that.
This remedy is called “I CAN.” Hopefully it will negate the effects of this stupid virus. Disclaimer: Side effects are minimal, and may include feelings of self worth, capability, hope, and in rare cases, erectile dysfunction. So no worries there.
While I CAN hasn’t been thoroughly lab tested, there are a lot of really positive testimonials. Plus 4 out of 5 doctors (four of whom I paid) recommend it! What do I have to lose?
Therefore, I’m going to start saying to myself “I CAN!” I CAN write. I CAN finish my novel on a strong note. I CAN edit the rough draft into something worth reading. I CAN avoid the abyss of writer’s block.
Thank you, Diary, for always being there for me. Sometimes it just feels better to talk things out.
Yours,
P.K.