I took the F from phonics
And erased the I from eye,
For I am the great neologist,
And muddling English brings pride.
Don’t let the lexicographer’s
Phonetic description deride
The enigma behind my creations,
For I will not abide.
Remember that time I decided
To take out shoes’s double O’s?
Then switched out the U in roof
And added an E to nose?
You may say that I’m masochistic,
That chaos is my repose—
But I just enjoy complication;
It’s my little quirk, I suppose.